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Funny Jokes


  • You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.Share on Twitter



  • Roses are red, bullets are lead, you better love me, or I'll shoot you in the head.
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  • 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
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  • Something you never want to hear during surgery: "Who wants to try something new?"
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  • My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you"... I'm sure going to miss her.Share on Twitter



  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

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  • They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.

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  • Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

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  • Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.
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  • People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.Share on Twitter



  • There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.Share on Twitter



  • Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.Share on Twitter